Sorting

“I’ve been pulling apart how food makes me feel. What foods make me sick and what heals me. I wondered why it took me so long to notice the pain I was feeling.

Then I remember sitting alone at that kitchen table. I didn’t want to eat the food, but if I didn’t eat the food I didn’t eat. Everyone went to bed and I sat there alone.

In the morning I ate the food.

I remember being abused and sitting alone. I didn’t like being hit, but if I didn’t ignore it, I was ignored. Everyone went to bed and I sat there alone.

In the morning I ate the food.

For years I sat at that table. I did not like being hurt, I did not want to eat the food. But I wanted to belong. Everyone went to bed and I was alone.

I stared at the food.

In the morning I left.”

4/6/2025